Why Adoption?

In a loving response to the question "Why?" It's a perfectly natural question. Yes, I'm aware that I've been blessed many times over. I have three perfectly healthy, perfectly beautiful, perfectly perfect boys. I'm in awe at how lucky I am. I read so many blogs where women just can't have babies, or have to spend thousands to have one. I'm lucky, mine just came. Sometimes when I planned it, sometimes as a surprise. But equally without work or cost. So, why are we spending money and going out of our way to get another child, when we already have three kids.

I realize in today's society having more that 2 children is cause for stares. It's cause for "You have your hands full, You know what causes that?, Are you done?, Better you than me, Are they ALL yours?, and the occasional stare. I have three children, I personally don't think that is over the top at all. When we had foster babes, we had 4, that was cause for all kinds of stares and comments. But we want more. So why adoption?

That story begins in 2006. I had three boys, all under 4 and none that were potty trained or slept through the night. I had major hip and back pain. I was exhausted. The doctors told me that if I had more than my hips wouldn't allow me to walk. I was scared. I was tired. Did I mention tired? So we decided to "take care of things" My husband had the surgery and we were done with babies. Fast forward 3 years. I was not done having babies! I realized that maybe if I had just given my body a break, maybe my hips wouldn't hurt, maybe my kids would have been potty trained, maybe they would be sleeping through the night. So we decided to look into foster-to-adopt care.

Well two years after that, we've had two placements and no permanent baby. Now don't get me wrong, I loved my foster babies. That's what made it even harder to give them back. Especially Baby J, we thought for over 6 months that he might be adoptable. Baby A, we knew pretty early on that she wouldn't be ours for long. So we decided to stop foster care for a minute. In the mean time I realized that I really did want another child.

I feel that I was meant to be a mother, I could never imagine doing something else. I feel that the surgery, done in a time of tired panic, took that opportunity away from me. Now, we've been asked, "Why don't you just reverse it?" We did consider that, but after doing foster care, we had our eyes wide open to the thousands of children already here, in need of a home. This was our personal conviction. (not a put down to anyone who's done a reversal) Our personal conviction to bring home one or two of the children in waiting.

We looked into all forms of adoption, foreign, domestic, infant, older children, and waiting children. We decided on waiting children. We came to this decision pretty quickly. As foster parents we're aware of all the waiting children in the USA, over 123,00! Also, as our youngest is 5, neither of us were certain we wanted to "start over" with a newborn or infant.

So in honor of our coming 4th child, here are four reasons why we're adopting:

1. We love children. We're a family household that thrives on activities, noise, controlled chaos, dreams, painting, cooking, laundry, dishes, playdough, Garfield, football, Nascar, large cars, extra freezers of food, and all the fun and joy that comes with a larger family.

2. "Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it." Proverbs 22:6 We feel convicted to adopt and bring one or two of God's children home to a forever home. We have more room and more love to give.


3. "Children are a gift from the LORD; they are a reward from him." Psalm 127:3 Children are a gift. When we had the surgery, we took that gift away from our family. While we're choosing not to have more biological children, we hope that God sees fit to bless and reward our family with more children.

4. Why not? Our house is loud and so joy filled right now, why not add some more to the mix?

Yes, it's scary. We don't know what child will be entering our home. It's hard to let go of the easy life I have at this moment and "walk out of my comfort zone, into the realm of the unknown" (to quote some song, I can't remember who) But we know that there is good waiting for us, more blessings, more smiles, more hugs. There is a child who needs a home, who needs loving parents and siblings. We feel that we can be that family! So for all these and many more reasons. That is why we're adopting!