The Big News!!!

Ok, so here it is! We've been making a decision for a few months now. Since Little Miss left our home, we've been agonizing about whether to continue foster care or not. Most people didn't know this. Most people assumed we were just waiting for our next placement. I have a deep passion for foster care, but as great at Little Man's exit was, was how awful Little Miss's was. I loved both of these children as my own. Little Miss's exit was unsure, unstable, and dragging. I knew she was getting ready to leave, but the dates kept changing. Her family wanted her with them, it was all just a mess. Even after her family got her, it still wasn't over. So we were deciding what to do next. As a family, we feel strongly about helping children, but at this point, we didn't think it was right for our family to have to say goodbye to another child. So we started talking. And talking, and praying, and talking, and praying and talking. Well, you get the point. So what is our news? Get to it already.

We have decided to adopt!!!! We prayed about it for weeks. We came to the decision to adopt pretty easily, it was the from where that was the major question. I was set on international, Ethiopia to be exact. Johnny wasn't keen on that. I wanted a baby, he didn't want to 'start over'. We looked into adopting a multi-racial child from a domestic agency. My friend had used them and at the time, they only charged fees for home studies. Sadly, they have changed their fee schedule and it was more than international. I couldn't get over the fact that it seemed like buying a baby.(this was this particular agency, and not a shot at anyone who adopts domestically) At least with international, the fees make sense, the flights, the hotels, the foster program, you're supporting the orphanages and such. But these are just American mothers living their lives. None of the money went to them, so I couldn't figure out where the "placement" fee was going to.

So after a lot of thought and prayer and talk, we decided to look into waiting children. They are mostly older kids. We have decided to add to our family from these children. As of right now, we do not have a particular child in mind. We are talking with our social workers about in-state children, and then we'll learn more about out-of-state.We are considering 1-3 children, as sibling set. We're looking at no older than 9. There are so many children available for adoption. We're excited to be adding to our family. We're looking at a girl, but will accept a sibling set with a boy in it. The boys were excited and definitely wanted a new brother over two sisters :) We talked to our amazing social worker to find out all we need to know. We have to write a narrative about our family and she's going to send it around. As of now, we are officially an adoptive family! In meantime we will be working with social services as a respite family. I'm happy to still be in helping foster families while we wait. As for how long this could take? We're not sure. We're in the lead already. We've had two foster children, we have a valid home study, and all our background checks have been cleared. So it's basically just waiting for the right children. They will be foster children for 6 months, according to the law. And then there's an additional 1-3 month wait for the official paperwork to come down. We can't wait to get started! We're grateful for any good thoughts, prayers, and support while we wait for our forever child or children. . God has blessed us beyond measure and we trust in His timing to bring us the child or children meant for us! 

The big news blog...

The big news is coming tonight! There should be a blog around 8pm. I actually already wrote and saved it. I can't wait until my meeting tonight to be able to share with everyone!!!! <3

1/27/11

I think we found our arrow!!!! We'll know for sure after Monday. Sorry to be so vague, but we agreed not to say much before we were sure. I think we're 75% there! Thanks for hanging on with us!

1/25/11

I feel like such a slacker for not writing. The truth is, I've been looking hard. Too hard maybe. The goal of this blog was to see without having to search. We're in the middle of a major life changing decision. The decision is basically made, but we need clarity about which direction to go. I've been reading a book called When God Winks At You: How God communicates with you through coincidences. So I've been on the look out for a God Wink. I'm pretty sure I've heard from Him a few times through "coincidences" but it's not making the decision for us. We want a big flashing neon arrow, saying ANDERSON'S OF GLOUCESTER, THIS WAY PLEASE. Maybe with our kids names too, just so we're sure it's us. But, in the mean time, we're still looking and praying hard.

I haven't been blinded.

I promise, my eyes are open now more than ever before. There is a HUGE blog coming soon with a HUGE decision, but I'm not releasing it just yet. There's a few more days to wait and a few more prayers to pray, but it's going to be good! Stay tuned, I promise it'll be worth it!

1-17-11

My husband is off today and once again, I can see God in my family. It's too easy. Today, I told the kids that we only had to math and Narnia. Johnny took them upstairs to do school!!! I found them doing Bible as well. It's amazing the difference that God and church has made in our lives. There was no miracle, oh we're all perfect now, things are easy change. But it's been nice, a bit more peaceful, and more loving. I love seeing my kids want to do charity work, they donate toys easily (for the most part), and they really enjoy learning about God.

1-14-11

All I have today is a solid prayer that I sent up. Asking nothing for myself, only for the protection of two little souls that are near and dear to me. I can't really go into detail. But two sweet girls need a bubble of protection around their bodies and their minds and mostly their hearts. A solid honest prayer, a prayer that I know God has heard. A prayer is about all I can do for the moment. I'm thankful that I am able to do that.

1-13-11

So we're reading a book called Crazy Love for Bible Study. I wrote a blog about it HERE. Right before reading a particularly tough chapter about lukewarm love for God, I wrote a prayer. I asked to hear God's voice over my own, to know it's Him and not my own desires. I don't want to use the phrase "I'm called to/for" when it's really just what I want in the first place. Just because a thought or an idea popped into my head, I don't want to jump to the conclusion that it was God's idea. Anyway, so this chapter was really tough. I highlighted 3/4 of the examples of what a lukewarm love looks like. Even wrote an "ouch" next to one particular paragraph. So the whole point of this was, I was praying and grabbed my Bible. I opened to where I had left off (2 Sundays before, another sign of lukewarmness) and after reading just a few passages, I stumbled upon these verses: (well, I probably didn't stumble so much as was thumped in the head with them)

"The voice of the Lord is over the waters; the God of glory thunders, the Lord thunders over the mighty waters. The voice of the Lord is powerful; the voice of the Lord is majestic, the voice of the Lord breaks the cedar;the Lord breaks in pieces the cedars of Lebanon." Psalm 29: 3-5

"The voice of the Lord strikes with flashes of lightning. The voice of the Lord shakes the desert; the Lord shakes the Desert of Kadesh. The voice of the Lord twists the oaks and the strips the forests bare. And in his temple all cry "Glory!" " Psalm 29: 7-9

So since I've starting keeping this blog, I've come into contact, TWICE, with Bible Verses pertaining directly to what I've written in my prayer journal. Now, I'm sure this happens to other people, but it's never happened to me before. Maybe, because I'm asking to see and hear, much more than throwing my wish list of requests at Him. I'm certain He doesn't mind my requests, but I'm in serious need of just listening more during prayer. And the two times that I've been quiet and I've tried to ignore the thoughts of grocery lists and the dates on the calendar, I've gotten a Bible verse as an answer. I'm quite impressed and amazed at this. So here's hoping I can see or hear more and even have another blog from today.

1-12-11

I'm inspired to write about standing in awe of God. We're doing a Bible study of Crazy Love and it was one of the questions raised last night. There were many answers, mostly sunrises :). The birth of children, just existing. The first time I remember REALLY standing in awe of God, was while I was in Forks and La Push. It was so beautiful and so quiet. The first morning when I went to take an early morning walk, I was greeted by this sight!

I mean, how amazing it that! It was also cool knowing that this same sun had come up in my town three hours before! It was just so amazing. Later in the day when we went through the woods to walk to the beach, I was so silent and so amazed. I just loved it there. It was the only time, that I know that I heard the voice of God. That I was being told to slow down and drink it in and enjoy it all. This was my first glimpse of the Pacific Ocean!

I am just in awe of this whole area. I can't wait to go back. I had really hoped to take the peace of this place back home with me. And taking the time to journal and pray more. I was so connected to God there. Of course, I had  no chores, no kids, and no responsibilities at all. So, yes, it was easier. I just wish I could get back to that state of mind.

In the amazing woods!

Just before the sun came up!

The prayer tree at 2nd Beach.

My feet in the Pacific!

1-11-11

Babies abound! In the last month, 4 have been born, and in the last week, I've learned of 4 new pregnancies. My friend has a particularly happy blog over at A Nest Near the Alter. You should read it. To quote Cold Tangerines "It makes sense to me in a new way that God chose to wrap his divinity in baby bones and baby skin. I always thought maybe it was to demonstrate vulnerability, or to identify fully with each phase of humanity, but now I think it was something else. I think it was because babies make up believe in the possibility and the power of the future. It's genius that the Christ, the Messiah, came as a baby, not because of his helplessness, but because of the possibility every baby holds."

1-10-11

I've already had a blog topic this morning. It's something random. I was reminded of something very sweet this morning. I was reading a blog and there was a picture of a husband and wife with a caption that read " My Beloved is mine and I am his." And this reminded me of a sweet story from a few years ago. We were all out at Salsas for a birthday party and the table behind us was having a party as well. Soon we heard a commotion coming from their table as they were getting ready to leave. An older lady had lost her ring. She was flinging her hands around and it had flown off. Soon the whole back section of the restaurant was on its hands and knees looking for this ring for her. She was getting rather frantic and no one was having any luck. We were picking up chairs and searching under the booths. We had all just about given up and she was so upset.

Finally she put on her coat and there in the seam of the coat was her ring. She was ecstatic. She came over to thank us for helping and to show us the ring. She said I got this 50 years ago in Israel. It was a simple gold band ring that was inscribed. "I am my beloved and he is mine" in Hebrew. She said her husband had a matching one and they had always worn them. A friend sitting next to me said "See that gives me hope" and then whispered, "that's why I love old people" :).

So seeing that quote this morning reminded me of that story. We don't know how long we have with our loved ones. This woman had had a very long time. I've had nearly 10 years. My parents, over 30. But it could end today, tomorrow, in 50 years. I don't know. But, I plan on trying to show my love to my loved ones more everyday. So I'm thankful for the reminder of that story this morning.

1-9-11

Once again, all to easy today. My son, Jackson, went forward and proclaimed Jesus as his Lord and Savior. Pretty amazing morning. Watching my little guy make that walk. I got to hold a brand new innocent soul in the form of baby Austin. His sweet new baby smell is nothing less than a miracle. Listening to Sam giggle hysterically while playing "tornado ball". Listening to our guest pastor alive with passion. Hearing the story about those with little giving to the church. The beginning of talk of a homeless shelter. Learning of a new baby being born in the overnight hours. God's blessing and signs were all around today.

1-7-11

 For this man, this marriage, this family. I don't have to look very hard to see God stamped all over it. I've been blessed with an amazingly hardworking, loving, kind, and generous man. He's a great father and husband. I'm so thankful!

1-6-11

 I didn't get the chance to write this last night. So, for yesterday, I saw a chance come over my youngest son. Sam came yelling the other day that his neck hurt. So of course, my first thought was meningitis. Thankfully, he had no fever, and Shane told me that he was jumping from the table unto the couch. (this kid hurts himself doing things he shouldn't all the time!!!). Anyway, the next day, it still hurt him. So we prayed that God would make his neck feel better. Within hours, he was proclaiming his neck healed. It was so cute. We talked about it calmly. I asked him if he thought God heard his prayer. He said "yes, and the medicine helped too" It was just a great moment to share with my youngest boy.

1/5/11

Though I didn't see this with my own eyes, I think it still counts. Yesterday there was a prayer request on facebook about a little girl. She was going for a CAT scan and needed prayer that the doctors wouldn't find anything scary. I'm not sure of the history of this little girl, but this morning, it was stated that her scans were clean. There was slight swelling of her spine, but they seemed to think that this was okay and nothing like the bad junky stuff they were expecting. So for today, I'm seeing God in the power of prayer and the health of this sweet little girl.

1/4/11

Seeing a group of people show up for a new Bible Study. Seeing people on fire for God, ready to change and learn and grow. It was all too easy to see God today. I'm anxious to get out more and start to see God in the things outside of my church and my family. But, for this moment, this is where God has placed me and I'm seeing all that is in front of me.

This is our new study!

1-3-2011

 Today is a big nothing day. It's my favorite kind of day. We are sitting and relaxing and doing a lot of nothing. I got some movies from Redbox. We're watching Toy Story 3 and Where the Wild Things Are. The kids each picked a snack for this afternoon. Johnny has to go back to work tomorrow and school starts again tomorrow. No one is really looking forward to that. However, in the midst of the quiet and the bursts of giggles from both my kids and husband. I know that God had this day planned for us. One more day to enjoy as a family with no to-do lists, no chores, and no work. Also the animals seem to be enjoying having all of us sitting still and petting them.

1/2/2011

Well today I don't have to look very hard to see God. I just experienced one of the most amazing church services that I've witnessed as an adult. Our sermon was about hope. At then end of the sermon the congregation was asked to share their stories of hope during the Christmas season. I shared this story.  It was great to here of all the good that was done this season. During the service I was reading through some of Psalm. I read a few shorter chapters and then this verse popped off the page. (well not literally that would have been scary). Psalm 27:13 "I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living." !!!!!! I just sat there staring at it for a moment, grabbed my notebook and wrote it down. I feel like this was God's way of telling me that my journey is one He approved and sent my way.

My New Years Resolution.

So here it is! This is my New Years Resolution. In Bible study this year we did a book called "Being More Than Just a Good Bible Study Girl" It was full of great ideas and ways to put them into practice. The one that stuck out the most to choosing to see God in all things both big and small. She pointed out that sometimes it can take effort to see God in problems and challenges. That more than anything in the whole book stuck out to me. I want to see God everywhere, everyday! So as my Resolution, I want to take a journey to see God daily. I want to make it such a second nature that when I sit down to write, I won't have to think. I want to know the difference between God's voice and my own desires. It's so easy to say "I feel called to _____" when really it's just my own thoughts and desires. I want to know what path to take and know that I'll be okay where ever I end up. I want Bible verses to pop into my head when they are most needed. I want to have a deeper friendship with my God. I will attempt to blog each day, but I'm not going to beat myself up if I don't get to it, as long as I see and acknowledge that something I've seen or experienced was an act of God.