Live For Today.

I borrowed a CD from the church library and there's a song called "Live For Today" it's by Natalie Grant. It's an upbeat song. I love the chorus. "I'm going to live for today, going to follow in Your way. I'm going to let my little light shine like there's no tomorrow. I won't worry about the past, I know my future is intact. So I choose to live my life in one way, I'm going to live for today." I love that. I made that my status on facebook. I, however, have to sit back and think. Do I really live like that? The honest answer is, no I do not. I'm not a worrier. I'm a thinker. I think think think about things. I think about things that would probably not happen. I think about what I should have said in that conversation. I think about what I will say in a future conversation (again, that may never happen). One of my favorite Bible verses is the good old "

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."~Mathew 6:34

I have to think this often. I also love the verses that come before this:

  “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?  Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?  Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin.  Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.  If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith?  So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’  For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."~Mathew 6:25-34


Can any one of you by worry add a single hour to your life? How amazing is that. No amount of my worrying or over thinking about the future or about the past can add a single second to my life. Why should I waster any of my precious seconds/minutes/hours/or even days worrying or over thinking. I know I'm going to be provided for and taken care of. 


As Natalie sings. I want to "live for today" I want to enjoy the moments right in front of me. I want to shine and be happy where I am and happy do whatever it is that I'm doing at this moment. This applies to my prayer life. I drift, I start thinking about other things, then I start imagining those non-existent conversations again. All the while, I see God waiting patiently and thinking "Ahem, you were having a conversation with ME." I want to be involved in the moment. 


I know there are future things one should think about. But not worrying. Worrying can't add a single hour to my life. So here's to living life for today. I'm going to give it a shot.

YSALLMN

I think that might be our new license plate. YSALLMN or HNDSFUL or HRTSFUL. Or maybe I should just have a shirt made up. I did get a new one today "Looks like you're feeding an army!" :) Oh I can't wait for the looks when I have one or two more.

Why Adoption?

In a loving response to the question "Why?" It's a perfectly natural question. Yes, I'm aware that I've been blessed many times over. I have three perfectly healthy, perfectly beautiful, perfectly perfect boys. I'm in awe at how lucky I am. I read so many blogs where women just can't have babies, or have to spend thousands to have one. I'm lucky, mine just came. Sometimes when I planned it, sometimes as a surprise. But equally without work or cost. So, why are we spending money and going out of our way to get another child, when we already have three kids.

I realize in today's society having more that 2 children is cause for stares. It's cause for "You have your hands full, You know what causes that?, Are you done?, Better you than me, Are they ALL yours?, and the occasional stare. I have three children, I personally don't think that is over the top at all. When we had foster babes, we had 4, that was cause for all kinds of stares and comments. But we want more. So why adoption?

That story begins in 2006. I had three boys, all under 4 and none that were potty trained or slept through the night. I had major hip and back pain. I was exhausted. The doctors told me that if I had more than my hips wouldn't allow me to walk. I was scared. I was tired. Did I mention tired? So we decided to "take care of things" My husband had the surgery and we were done with babies. Fast forward 3 years. I was not done having babies! I realized that maybe if I had just given my body a break, maybe my hips wouldn't hurt, maybe my kids would have been potty trained, maybe they would be sleeping through the night. So we decided to look into foster-to-adopt care.

Well two years after that, we've had two placements and no permanent baby. Now don't get me wrong, I loved my foster babies. That's what made it even harder to give them back. Especially Baby J, we thought for over 6 months that he might be adoptable. Baby A, we knew pretty early on that she wouldn't be ours for long. So we decided to stop foster care for a minute. In the mean time I realized that I really did want another child.

I feel that I was meant to be a mother, I could never imagine doing something else. I feel that the surgery, done in a time of tired panic, took that opportunity away from me. Now, we've been asked, "Why don't you just reverse it?" We did consider that, but after doing foster care, we had our eyes wide open to the thousands of children already here, in need of a home. This was our personal conviction. (not a put down to anyone who's done a reversal) Our personal conviction to bring home one or two of the children in waiting.

We looked into all forms of adoption, foreign, domestic, infant, older children, and waiting children. We decided on waiting children. We came to this decision pretty quickly. As foster parents we're aware of all the waiting children in the USA, over 123,00! Also, as our youngest is 5, neither of us were certain we wanted to "start over" with a newborn or infant.

So in honor of our coming 4th child, here are four reasons why we're adopting:

1. We love children. We're a family household that thrives on activities, noise, controlled chaos, dreams, painting, cooking, laundry, dishes, playdough, Garfield, football, Nascar, large cars, extra freezers of food, and all the fun and joy that comes with a larger family.

2. "Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it." Proverbs 22:6 We feel convicted to adopt and bring one or two of God's children home to a forever home. We have more room and more love to give.


3. "Children are a gift from the LORD; they are a reward from him." Psalm 127:3 Children are a gift. When we had the surgery, we took that gift away from our family. While we're choosing not to have more biological children, we hope that God sees fit to bless and reward our family with more children.

4. Why not? Our house is loud and so joy filled right now, why not add some more to the mix?

Yes, it's scary. We don't know what child will be entering our home. It's hard to let go of the easy life I have at this moment and "walk out of my comfort zone, into the realm of the unknown" (to quote some song, I can't remember who) But we know that there is good waiting for us, more blessings, more smiles, more hugs. There is a child who needs a home, who needs loving parents and siblings. We feel that we can be that family! So for all these and many more reasons. That is why we're adopting!

2/16/11

There is an amazing couple at my church. They cannot have children of their own. I don't understand this. At all. They are so loving and caring. K runs the Awana program, both P and K work in Kidz Worship. They even take care a a 12 year girl. They have been raising her almost her whole life. She doesn't live with them, but I can't imagine where she would be without them. She's truly a lucky little girl to have two people care so much about her. For the life of me, I don't understand why God wouldn't allow these two people to have a child. They have so much love to give. Well about 11 months ago K's stepsister became pregnant. I don't know the whole story, I only know that she wants K and P to raise the baby. They took her home from the hospital and have been taking care of her ever since. And by taking care of her, I mean loving her within an inch of her life. There's nothing more precious than seeing P hold his daughter. He's a huge teddy bear of a man and Baby G is so tiny and looks minuscule in her daddy's large hands. He has a hawks eye on her when he does allow someone else to hold her, which is rare. It's beautiful to watch, these two who wanted a child so badly, to have one to call their own.

This is where the story turns sad and frankly, pisses me off. The biological father of Baby G is fighting for custody of her. He wasn't around for the whole pregnancy, the birth, or her life until this point. A prayer request came across our church email to pray for them. If I'm to be perfectly honest, I'm having a hard time understand God's plan right now. I know He has a plan and this is part of it. I just can't wrap my mind around why they have to now fight for this baby. She's so safe and loved where she is. This "father" to me seems to be fighting out of spite. It makes me so angry that they have to go through this. If anyone could just see K and P with Baby G for just 30 seconds, you could see how much see is loved and wanted. Any judge in the right mind would give Baby G to them. But a father has rights. I can't stand the thought of them losing her. It breaks my heart.

So I pray. Father, please allow K and P to keep their baby. Please, let all this mess just go away. Please soften the birth father's heart. Allow him to see that this is what is best for his child. They are so wonderful people and Baby G couldn't be better off anywhere else. Lord, please give K and P comfort and peace during this trial. Lord, wrap them up tight and let them know it will be okay. I know you have a plan, but from an Earthly human perspective, it's hard to see and harder to understand. Please, let this work itself out quickly and allow them to be the family that they so richly deserve to be. Amen.

2/14/11

Happy Valentine's Day! If you've never heard, there is a great event called Women of Faith held all over the country. I went last year and it was so amazing and refreshing and encouraging! I signed up to go again this summer. It's actually the day after my hubby and I's 10 year anniversary. So it was kind of a choice, but he insisted that I go and enjoy myself. During the end of service yesterday, the leader of the WoF group, gave a little presentation on it. She was discussing how some women can't afford the trip and that they always try to make a way for anyone who wants to go to be able to go. She was also talking about giving the trip as a Valentine's Day gift, in case any husband forgot. My hubby waved at me from the choir :)

My thoughts immediately went to the family sitting right behind me. This amazing women, lost her husband last year to cancer. She has three fairly young kids. Two boys and a girl. I thought, I hope she goes, she needs to get away. Then my thought process said, who's going to watch her kids so she can go (mind you this was a very fast thought process, as my thoughts run away from me) Sitting there, I thought, well if Johnny can watch her boys, maybe she can find a place for her daughter and be able to come. Now, I hadn't discussed this with Johnny yet, but I said a quick prayer about it and heard "Do it, do it" It sounded just like my voice, but I don't use that phrase often :). So as soon as service was over I crawled over to face her. I said "I'm going this summer, if you want to come, Johnny will watch the boys for you and you can find a place for your daughter" She just stared at me for a moment. Shook her head and said "She wants to come" Her daughter had just asked her if they could go and she told her, the obstacle was finding a place for the boys. She said they would pray about it. Not two minutes later, I was in in her face saying Johnny could keep the boys. So she and her daughter get to go and have a girl weekend, and Johnny gets to stay home with 5 boys, but her boys will get to have some male bonding time for the weekend! I love how God is in the details!

2/13/11

A few days ago I was writing in my journal/prayer journal. I was asking for protection of all my pregnant mommy friends and their unborn babes. I was going through my head trying to remember them all. A certain friends name kept popping into my head, we'll call her "X". I didn't write her down, because X wasn't pregnant. She just had a baby this fall. I couldn't stop thinking about her for the whole prayer. I wrote her on facebook and told her I was thinking about her all during my prayer time. Well today she emailed me to let me know she is in fact pregnant and hadn't told anyone at the time of my prayer. She just told her family and decided to tell me as well! I'm over the moon excited for her, but at the same time, I'm excited for myself. That feeling in my heart was God telling me to pray for her. She has difficult pregnancy and it was important to pray. So while I didn't follow his guidance for a prayer for pregnancy, I did say a prayer for her safety. And now I know why! So yet another baby is coming into the world around the same time as my best friend and another close facebook friend. It's going to be a busy fall!

Delightful Dishes

I have to start with a bit of a back story. We've been hosting weekly/bi-monthly dinners at our house for the past few months. It's to get to know our church family a bit better in a more relaxed environment. Since we've NEVER hosted a sit down dinner, we've been short on place settings and silverware. Basically the kids eat first and I wash up their setting pieces so that the adults can eat. I mentioned this to someone and for the life of me I can't remember who. I may have even posted it on facebook. I've been planning to hit up thrift stores to fill in the missing pieces, who cares if they match or not. Okay, so now on to the story. 

So yesterday was a very busy day at church. It was Scout Sunday!!! The Cubs ran the service, as far as passing out the bulletins and taking up the offering. Then we hosting a lunch for the church. We were loading up a ton of stuff, as there were lots of leftovers. Johnny wanted to take some to the homeless people that he's been helping. (along with some other church members) So we loaded them up with a hot lunch and desserts. As we were going back and forth to the truck, I noticed a box appear on the front seat. I didn't pay any attention to it, since I thought it was something Johnny put there. When it was finally time to leave Johnny asked what the box was. I told him, I thought he put it there. He denied it. The box had dishes on it, but I really thought it was full of food for the homeless. Nope, it was full of brand new dishes. I searched the car for a note. I searched the box for a "from:". Nothing. Someone heard my conversation, or read it on facebook. (like I said, I don't remember who I told) and left us a brand new set of dishes, including silverware on the front seat of our truck!!!!

My eyes welled up with tears and this simple, yet amazing gesture towards our family. I cannot believe that someone took my ramblings to heart and felt the need to buy this set for us. It's so thoughtful and heartfelt. And then to not leave a note, to not want to be recognized. It's just so amazing! If I can't see God in that act, then I might as well be blind. I really touched my heart and made my day. So to whoever it was, thank you so very much!!!

2/3/11

The kind and generous words of my friends, family, and unknown blog followers. It's amazing how many people are happy about our big news. You all have shown such love. It's going to be a long journey, with a wonderful ending. So thank you all for the support. We love all of you!